The Price Legacy - Generation One - Chapter Fourteen

[pastryqueen]

Marci writes a series of letters, processing the new changes in her life.

CONTENT WARNING: Sexual content, mature language, partial nudity.




Dear Don,

I’m only doing this because Josh suggested it. When I confessed I had no idea what to do with this anger inside me, he told me to write a letter with no intention of sending it. That way, I can get everything out and feel better.



I think it’s complete horseshit, but he says it helped him make peace with his stepfather’s abuse, and I usually trust his judgement so we’re going to give it a try.

Besides, when I first moved out here, writing in my journal kept me sane. Who knows? This might help me - or at the very least, distract me from the urge to run to your house and kick you in the balls.



You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t wish you well. I hope you and Katrina Caliente are having a miserable life together.



You might’ve noticed I don’t stop by the stand anymore if I can help it. If I just see your coworker Supriya, I’ll go and say hello to her. She’s super chill and gives me extra cupcakes. I didn’t tell the whole story, but I asked her to make your life a living hell, so all those extra annoying tasks waiting for you at the start of your shifts? You’re welcome.



I’m losing focus. Where was I? Oh, right. I’m pissed at you. Why am I pissed at you today, you ask, aside from abandoning your best friend in her time of need?

Today, Josh took me downstairs to the nursery. He had a surprise waiting for me.



It was a new crib for the baby.

Joshua: “I know how you feel about pink. We can take the ribbon off and dye it a different color if you want.”



Marci: “Actually...pink is growing on me. Thanks, muffin.”

Let that sink in. Josh, who isn’t the baby’s father and has every reason to be upset with me, went out and got a new crib. Which is something you should’ve done. You piece of shit.

I feel bad because he has far more enthusiasm about this pregnancy than I do. I thought he was going to take the news very badly, but he adjusted faster than I expected. He’s trying so hard to hype me up and lift my spirits. Sometimes it works.



Most of the time, though? I’m fucking miserable, and it’s all your fault.



Your demon spawn is actively trying to kill me.





I’ve had morning sickness with the twins, but never like this. It’s a whole new level of gross. Yesterday, I had no choice but to call off work and get some anti-nausea medication from my doctor because I couldn’t stop throwing up.



This pregnancy has its upsides, though.



My tits, for instance? They look amazing.



You really picked the wrong time to piss me off. You’re missing out on these knockers. I wish I could motorboat myself.



I don’t think I can put into words how grateful I am for Josh. Since I’m pretty much useless at the moment, he’s working from home to make sure the twins’ needs are met and that I’m getting as much rest as my body needs. I told him he didn’t have to cut back on his hours outside of work, but he insisted. He supported himself and Louis on commission work alone, and he’s determined to rely on those jobs as much as he possibly can to stay close to home.



He keeps asking if I’m looking forward to the baby. If I want a boy or a girl. If I came up with any names yet. I always feel like an asshole for drawing up blanks. It’s hard to say how I feel about this situation.

To be honest, I’m scared to meet our child. What if I look into their face, and all I see is you staring back at me? What’s going to happen if the baby arrives and Josh and I discover we were in way over our heads to believe we could handle this? What if Josh can’t bond with the baby - or I can’t?



Josh tells me it isn’t worth dwelling on those questions right now. All I should worry about is myself and our family. Whenever the anxiety gets to me, he assures me everything works out in the end. He’s right. I know he is.



I try to take it one day at a time. I focus on where I am, who I’m with…



I remember that my husband loves me. I remember that I’m not alone.



Some days, it works, and I don’t think about you at all. I can’t claim to read your mind, but…



…judging by the silence on your end, I bet you don’t think about me either.











I don’t know what pisses me off more: your bullshit…



Or the fact that I still hope you’re going to change your mind.

Sincerely, Marci

***



Dear Don,



Yesterday Supriya came by our house and told us something very interesting about her last shift.



Apparently someone was planting stink bombs around the food stand whenever you were working. She said they were hidden in pink strawberry cupcakes and discarded between the trash bin and the stand, where you couldn’t immediately spot them. The last one was so putrid, it scared all the customers away.



I wasn’t surprised to learn Louis was responsible for the bombs. I suspected he was up to something when he asked for a bottle of ammonia and a box of matches last week. He said it was for a school project. Josh didn’t think anything of it at the time, though. He just supervised him and assumed he was telling the truth.



Supriya said you confronted him, and he just laughed in your face.



Louis: “You’re not going to tattle on me! Who are you going to tell? Marci? Come and try! I dare you! She’ll just kick your butt!”



I wish I was there to see the look on your face.



Josh grounded him, of course, but I thought it was pretty damn funny. I never felt more proud of that little shit.



After that excitement, I went over to Johnny’s place to check out his new digs. Thanks to you, Dina has been staying at his trailer, and she insisted on fixing it up. At least one good thing came out of that whole mess between you guys.

Marci: “Damn, Johnny. Dina sent me the pics while she was in the middle of renovating…”



Marci: “But it looks so much better in person! I know you’ve got to feel good coming home to this. Takes me back to the first time I came back to my address without that tiny shitty shack waiting for me.”



Johnny: “I guess, but it took me completely by surprise! When Dina offered to redecorate, I thought she was going to pick up a couple of frilly throw pillows or art pieces with fruit and call it a day. I told her she shouldn’t get carried away. Next thing I know, I come home from work and she’s installed a bar in my living room! I’m still afraid to ask how much everything costs. She refuses to tell me! Makes me out to be a real heel.”

Marci: “Oh, don’t put up an act around me. I know you’re excited to have her here.”



Johnny: “Of course I am. I’ll admit, it gets pretty lonely flying solo, especially on this side of the neighborhood. You know how it is, don’t you? Striking out on your own without any family or friends. I was used to being surrounded by people too, even if they weren’t really good for me, so…all this isolation started getting to me. It’s nice to come home and have company waiting for you. I think it’s been good for Dina, too. She doesn’t have to worry about what her mom or that guy is doing. And turns out, we’re good roommates. It worked out for the best.”



Marci: “I agree, and between you and me, I see it as a blessing in disguise! The two of you, alone in this tiny trailer together, getting to know each other more in-depth...you tell a few jokes, show a little empathy and vulnerability, wear down her defenses...and she opens herself up to a little romance with the sweet, funny fella with impeccable taste in suits and swing music…”



Johnny: “Ah Marci, I’m gonna stop you right there! I’m not that kind of guy! If anything’s going to happen, I want it to be on Dina’s terms, not mine. She already shot me down once! I’m sure if she wanted us to be an item, she would’ve made it happen by now.”

Marci: “Not necessarily! All I’m saying is, taking a little initiative isn’t always a bad thing so long as you’re not a creep about it and you give her space to figure shit out. I took a chance with a cutie at a bar, and look at me now! If you really like Dina, now would be the best time to fess up and ask her out.”

Johnny: “I don’t know...it’s tempting, but I might have to put that dream on hold until she can afford her own place. I wouldn’t want to make her uncomfortable - or myself. Imagine living with a girl who rejects you not once, but twice! Besides, she just had that disastrous scene play out with her mother and Don. The timing is off.”

Marci: “Ehh, you got me there. She told me Kat still hasn’t returned her calls and Don…”



Marci: “Johnny...can I confess something?”

Johnny: “That you’re pregnant? Hate to break this to you, but Dina already let that cat out of the bag. Congrats, by the way.”

Marci: “No, no, not about that...well, I guess it is about the pregnancy. Actually, I...really need to talk to someone, and I’m not sure if Dina’s the person to tell right now. It uh…wouldn’t make her happy. If you don’t want to get involved, I’ll understand but--”

Johnny: “Hey, Marci? I’m all ears. What’s eating you?”



I wonder if you ever carried a secret that you couldn’t share with anyone, Don. Rather, you wanted to share it with a specific person, but, for one reason or another, they weren’t available anymore. You used to be that person for me. Maybe I was that person for you once...or I like to think so, but maybe I was wrong about that, too.

When I was sitting on Johnny’s couch, it occurred to me: that aside from Joshua, the only other person who knew the truth about my pregnancy was you. At the time, trusting Johnny with the information was a gamble, but I was willing to risk it. I can’t run and rant to you anymore whenever shit hits the fan in my life. May as well turn to the only other person in my life who’s not an asshole.



He was shocked. I would be too if I were in his shoes.



Marci: “…and then Don said he didn’t want any part in this, that I should’ve known he wouldn’t want to be a father. He really went off as though I conspired against him! I am soooooo sorry if my oopsie daisy pregnancy ruined your life, my dude, but it’s not like I purposely poked a hole in the condom or stopped taking my birth control! Shit happens, right? I thought we could figure this out, together...but he just gave me grief. So, I told him he was off the hook and to leave if he wanted to. And he hasn’t come back around, so...it’s just been me and Joshua figuring this shit out.”



Johnny: “Wow, Marci. I...I don’t know what to say. I’m flattered you’re trusting me with all of this, but...why me?”

Marci: “Well...you didn’t have to tell me about your parents or the whole deal with your family, but you did. I didn’t have to tell you what’s been going on in my life, but...I wanted to. I trust you. And it sucks holding all of this in. You...probably think I’m just some stupid slut, right?”



Johnny: “Hey! Don’t put yourself down like that! I would never. You couldn’t have predicted any of this happening.”

Marci: “I beg to differ. I should’ve thought twice before doing anything with him, after what happened with Kat and Dina, but…”

Johnny: “Hindsight is a bitch, isn’t it? We’ve all been there. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. There’s no point in beating yourself up over something you can’t change. I’m not about to make you feel worse about it. I just feel bad for you. Are you okay? What about the baby? And is that husband of yours upset with you?”

Marci: “I’m fine, same with the baby, and no, Josh is...taking it better than I expected. We’re doing alright.”

Johnny: “See? That’s all that matters! You got your health, your kids, your family. So what if that guy ditched you? Let him. It’s his loss, not yours. Let me tell you the same thing that I told Dina: the best revenge is moving on with your life and being happy. Otherwise, the ones who hurt you win. Some day Lothario’s going to be the one kicking himself in the pants for leaving a girl like you behind...and he’s going to be nothing more than a cruddy chapter in your life.”



Marci: “I hope you’re right. Listen, Johnny...you can’t tell anyone about this, okay? I mean it. Not even Dina. I’m going to sit and talk about this with her when I feel ready. I’ve got enough on my plate as it is. I just can’t deal with her reaction on top of this whole situation right now.”



Johnny: “Marci, you forget who you’re talking to. I may be Johnny Zest now, but in my old life as John Dudley Landgraab the III, I was renowned for keeping my mouth shut when it mattered. You wouldn’t believe the kind of dirt I got on all the residents around here - but you won’t ever hear it from me. My lips are sealed. Cross my heart and hope to die. You can even sink the knife in my heart yourself if I ever break my promise.”



Marci: “God, let’s hope it never comes to that! Thanks, Johnny. I’m glad I talked to you about this. I feel so much better.”



Johnny: “Well, I’m not your backup husband for nothing. I’m always here if you need to vent. I’m not good at anything else. Don’t ask me to fight for your honor. You saw what my hecklers do to me at my shows.”

Marci: “It’s cool. That’s exactly why I’m your backup wife. Someone’s gotta watch out for your pampered skinny ass.”



I didn’t anticipate having such a big discussion with Johnny when I visited his trailer, but I’m glad I told him what was going on between us.



I don’t know why I was worried about his reaction or opinion. He was really cool about it.



I guess he’s seen or heard worse, or he really doesn’t regard me as the trashy homeless girl squatting in Oasis Springs like half my neighbors still do. Either way, he came through for me. When I got home, he texted and checked in with me again.



Although I told Johnny I felt better, disclosing such a huge secret to him...between you and me, his acceptance and understanding made me feel so much worse.



You should be here, right now. Accepting this. Understanding this. Understanding me. You should be the one saying that everything is going to work out, regardless of your participation. You shouldn’t be across the street and ignoring my existence, blowing me off, putting all of this responsibility on me.

Since our fallout, I’ve always been angry with you, but tonight, for the first time…



I really, really hate you, Don.

Sincerely,

Marci

***













Marci: “Hey. Couldn’t sleep?”

Don: “Nope. How about you?”

Marci: “I just got off a night shift. You know how it is. I won’t be sleepy for another couple of hours.”



Marci: “Hey, I thought we made a pact. I quit smoking thanks to you. What gives?”

Don: “It’s not like I forgot. I just go through stages. I can go months without touching one. Then I find one of these babies sitting in my glove compartment, and it was all downhill from there.”

Marci: “You really shouldn’t have done that. Give it a couple more weeks, and I’ll start hearing the same old complaints and excuses again. ‘Oh Marci, my chest hurts when I run! I have bad breath! Kat yelled at me because I smell like an ashtray and now she won’t sleep with me! I ran out of money, can you run to the store and pick me up a pack? I’ll totally pay you back, like, never!’”



Don: “You’ve got a lot of nerve telling me what I should and shouldn’t put in my body, Marci. I never say shit when you puff too many bubbles at the festivals downtown or get so drunk that I have to carry your ass home. If anyone’s got a substance problem, it’s probably you.”

Marci: “Ouch. Fuck me, then! Don’t let me rain your parade. I’m going home.”



Don: “Oh Marci, come on...I’m sorry. You just caught me in a bad mood. Seriously, I’ll shut up.”

Marci: “You better, or I’ll take that cigarette and shove it right down your throat since you love it so much.”

Don: “I hear you, loud and clear. Are you going to sit down or what?”



Marci took a seat beside him. She looked around the Caliente estate, noting the new colorful streamers and wreath.

Marci: “So, who put up all the Winter Veil decorations?”

Don: “Not me, that’s for damn sure. I think it was Dina. I saw her digging some boxes out of her closet yesterday.”



Marci: “Of course she did. I can’t picture Katrina getting up on a ladder in her strappy heels. Or Nina. Can you picture Nina trying to hang those streamers over the window? She would try for, like, five minutes and whine about how hot it is outside.”



Don: “Pfft. Nina? I’ve never seen that woman do anything more than stare at her phone or binge-watch her shows. And everyone calls me a mooch. I gave Dina a boost for the wreath, though. She almost fell off the stepladder trying to hang it up.”



Marci: “If you ask me, I don’t get the Winter Veil aesthetic. It’s too cute and wholesome. I’m all for obnoxious decorations, but the colors don’t vibe with me. If I had a choice in the matter, I would use Hollow’s Eve decorations for everything.”

Don: “Hah! You would.”

Marci: “Picture it, though! A tree filled with skull and spider ornaments, orange and black decorum on the walls, dressing up in costumes, prank presents, gorging yourself on candy instead of ham or turkey...fuck, if only it got cold enough for snow! Then it would be so damn perfect. Instead of boring old snowmen, Louis and I could build snow monsters with bloodied carrots for fangs and knives for hands!”

Don: “You just might get your chance. I’ve seen some of your husband’s work. I would’ve never guessed it, but that guy’s got a fucking weird sense of humor. It’s no wonder you like him so much. Why don’t you ask him to throw down some jack-o-lanterns on your front lawn and see if he’s open to it?”



Marci: “Maybe. I don’t know. To be honest, holidays don’t mean that much to me, not as much as they should. They bum me out. I never got the full Winter Veil experience as a kid. I thought it would be fun and exciting once I came out here and met more people, but the reality always disappoints me. Maybe I just get my hopes up too much?”



Don: “I get what you mean. I hate the holidays, too. I never used to, but…”

He took another puff of his cigarette. Inhaled deeply. Exhaled. Then he continued his train of thought.

Don: “When I was a kid, my parents took me to our cabin out in Granite Falls for the winter. My old man and I would go sledding down the hills, build snowmen, have snowball fights...it went on for hours like that, just the two of us passing time. Mom used to get so upset because I’d come in soaked and freezing. Then she would make us sit together by the fireplace and bring us hot cocoa.”



Don: “It was probably the only time we were ever...I don’t know, normal, or as close as we could get to that. They didn’t talk about their money or status or worry about the kind of man that I was going to become. None of that shit mattered when we got away from everything. I don’t miss my parents, but...I miss that. I know it makes no sense.”



Marci: “No. That makes perfect sense. I’m sorry, Don.”



Don: “It is what it is. We stopped going when I was a teenager, anyway. I couldn’t afford to get ‘distracted’ from my studies. They probably sold the cabin by now. I would’ve skipped celebrating holidays altogether if it wasn’t for the girls. At least we get to eat lobster for dinner - and hit the beach straight after.”

Marci: “You can always go back if you want. It might be fun revisiting as an adult. Why don’t you suggest it to them? They might go for a winter wonderland getaway, just for the aesthetic.”

Don: “Tried. It just fell on deaf ears. They lived here their own lives. Whenever it falls below seventy degrees around here, they put on the heat.”



Marci: “Damn. They really wouldn’t have lasted five minutes in my old place. You remember how chilly it got in my shack a few months ago, or how stuffy it got during the heat waves.”

Don: “Tell me about it. I could never stay in that place for more than that. It’s a miracle you didn’t die from heatstroke. Here, want some?”

Marci: “Ugh. No thanks. The smell alone is making me low key nauseous. And you shouldn’t smoke anymore.”



Don: “I know. I’ll stop.”

Marci: “Come on. For real, this time. Put that cigarette out and do a pinky swear with me.”

Don: “What are we, twelve years old? What’s next, a blood ritual?”

Marci: “I don’t know what kind of friends you kept as a child, but pinky swears are sacred - according to Louis, anyway. Think of this as a suicide pact - a completely one-sided suicide pact, on your end. If you smoke behind my back, and I find out, I have permission to murder you, cut you to pieces, and bury you in Kat’s garden planter for her to find later.”



Don: “You know, all these details on what you plan on doing with my dead body don’t scare me anymore. You’re not even the first woman to threaten bodily harm on me. I’ve become desensitized.”

Marci: “Fine, maybe this will put a scare in you: I’ll key your car up.”

Don: “You monster, you leave my baby out of this. Alright, no more smoking. Pinky swear.”



“Marci?”



Marci snapped out of her thoughts. She looked up at Joshua.

Marci: “Oh. Hey.”

Joshua: “I thought you were laying down. What are you doing out here?”

Marci: “Oh, nothing. I was just…thinking. Enjoying the weather. It’s really nice out. Hasn’t been this nice out in a long time.”

Joshua: “Can I join you?”

Marci: “No, you’re forbidden. Of course, you can.”



Joshua took a seat next to Marci on the ground.

Joshua: “I’ve always liked watching the sky at this hour.”

Marci: “Same here. What do they call this, when it’s barely sunset? Twilight, right? I think it’s my favorite time of day.”



Joshua: “It’s eerily quiet tonight, isn’t it?”

Marci hadn’t noticed it, not until Joshua said anything.



At this hour, people were heading home for the evening. Parents walked with their children, hand-in-hand. Couples stopped by the fountain to make a wish before disappearing down the block together. The food stand workers closed down the register and counted out their drawers.

Tonight, however, no one was around but her and Joshua on their front lawn.



Marci: “Muffin…have you ever seen snow out here?”

Joshua: “Can’t say that I have. If I did, I was too little to remember now.”

Marci: “That’s sad. So it really doesn’t get that cold around here…”



Joshua: “You’re not missing out. A long time ago, I went with a girlfriend to meet her parents when they still lived in Riverblossom, in the dead of winter. It was too cold for me! And all that snow...sure, it looks beautiful coming down, but then it melts and turns into dirt slush in the roads, and you have to worry about black ice while you’re driving. I swore I would never deal with it again if I had a choice. I’ve always preferred winters out here.”



Marci: “I want to see snow someday, Josh.”



Marci: “I want our kids to play in the snow during Winter’s Veil. Maybe not next year, or the year after that...but someday, we should rent a cabin. I want to build snowmen with them, go sledding, have snowball fights, sit by the fireplace with mugs filled with hot cocoa...all of it. I never got to have a normal family holiday, Josh...and I have a feeling you didn’t get to have one, either. I think we ought to give our kids the best childhood possible. Maybe even normal. Boring normal, like most people do.”



Joshua: “Alright. Some day, we’ll do just that.”

Marci: “And another thing...what if I don’t want to put up Father Winter ornaments and gaudy silver garland on the tree? What if I want to put tiny skeletons all over it, and use orange and black string lights instead of the red and green combo? Would it be too weird if I wanted to put jack-o-lanterns outside instead of reindeer or elves?”



Joshua: “Marci, we can do whatever you want with the decorations. We don’t even have to get a tree if you change your mind. All the kids are going to care about is if they have parents who love them - and parents who love each other. Say the word, and I’ll carve the pumpkins myself.”



Marci: “You’re so sweet, for entertaining your crazy wife’s ideas so much.”

Joshua: “If you’re crazy, then I’m certifiably insane. I love your ideas. I always have. We haven’t exactly followed everyone else’s rules since day one.”

Marci: “Heh. You can say that again. Maybe normal isn’t a part of our plan after all.”

Joshua: “Normal is overrated. We’ll make our own traditions together...you, me, and our kids. All of them.”



All of them.

Marci liked the sound of that.

***



Dear Don,



Winter Veil is coming up soon. We just put our lights up.

You’re probably thinking about your parents again. If we were in a better place, I would text and see if you wanted to come over and help us decorate the tree. I finally convinced Josh to go along with my idea, to decorate it with skulls and spiders. You would laugh right now if I showed them to you, or roll your eyes and smirk at me and pretending you’re not totally jealous of my aesthetic.

I hate admitting it, but you were right when you called me out and claimed I expected something from you. When I told you I was pregnant...I thought I was doing you a favor, letting you into my world. I was thinking, you would want a family again once you were over the initial shock. Maybe you could be a part of mine, in some way.



I know you’re lonely, Don.



Maybe Kat is your family now, or eventually, you’ll find someone else. Who knows? I’m clearly not the person you want. Same with our baby.



This writing exercise is helping. I’m not angry anymore. Not at you. There’s no point in staying angry with you. Now, your silence just depresses me.

I’m angry with myself. All this time, I resented this pregnancy and what it’s done to us. I resented my baby. I told myself: if only I didn’t get knocked up, we would still be friends. You wouldn’t have a reason to avoid me. I wouldn’t be sitting outside my house, trying to catch glimpses of you at the Caliente estate, even just for a few seconds.



Last night, I felt our daughter kick for the first time. You weren’t here.

Do you know who felt her kick, though? Josh.



He was so fucking happy. It’s not even his kid, but...he doesn’t give a shit. He already loves her.



That moment between us, it made me realize something: why am I beating myself up, when our daughter hasn’t done anything wrong? What kind of mother would I be if I let your bullshit hang over my head and affect how I feel about her? She’s not even here yet, and already she’s bringing so much joy to our lives.



So what if you’re not here? She’s always going to have a father in Josh.





And she’s going to have siblings to keep her company…

It was more than I ever got to have. Same with Josh. Same with you.



For her sake, Don, I have to stop wasting my thoughts on you…and learn how to let you go.

I really don’t want to let go.

Josh was right. Three months ago, you broke my heart.

All this time I kept hoping you were going to change your mind and walk through our door, that you’re going to realize you’re making a horrible mistake…



Who am I kidding, though?



I’m done waiting.

I miss you, but I don’t need you.



And you clearly don’t need me.







Sincerely, Marci.